Story of Wonderfulness
Written by: Dan B
Ok, so I started the night with plans to go to my friend’s apartment, which was our local smoke haven. On the way there a girl I know called and I detoured to her house. Once I got there her and a friend of hers wanted to blaze, and I obliged. The three of us smoked like 5 big bowls and I also had around 5 beers while I was there, so I wasn't trashed, but I was certainly feeling the weed and beer. Needless to say, my friends at the smoke haven were wondering where I was, so they called, and I got ready to leave. The smoke haven is like 3 miles down a major road in Orlando from where I was, so I thought it would be no problem getting there. I get in my car and start driving, about 20 feet from the entrance to the apartment complex, the worst thing that could have ever happened, happened; a cop pulled me over. So I had my piece and my bud in my little pot pouch under the front seat of my car. The cop comes up to my window and knocks on it with his flashlight, so I knew he was a big time douche already. I roll down the window and he just kinda stares at me and I realize that he looks like he’s pretty young, like 25 or so. So he’s staring at me, doesn’t ask for my license or anything, then he just tells me that I have to get out of the car, and I knew I was fucked.
He starts searching my car, looking through all my shit, and he hasn’t found my stash yet, so my hopes start to get up. I could tell he was about finished searching because he started looking through the same piles of shit again, and then he goes under the front seat and finds my stash. He immediately turns around and says "Well, what do we have here" so now I know my life is fucked and I’m going to jail...so I say "I have no idea what that is". He takes the pouch thing and unrolls it on the flat part of the trunk of my car and pulls my pipe, my lighters, my clear eyes and my film canister with my bud in it and lays it all out on the trunk. He looks at me with the, you’re fucked, look that cops have, and this is when it gets crazy. He picks up the film canister and opens it, sniffs it, looks up at me and says "Nice" and hands me the canister back. I was freaking out...i was like what the fuck is going on, what is the fucking cop doing etc etc. Then he puts everything back, minus the pot, and puts the pouch in his cop car. He comes back and says "get the fuck out of here, and don’t ever drive drunk again" and I immediately say "are you serious, I can just leave?" and this crazy pig says "unless you want me to arrest you" so I don’t say another word, and jump in my car and drive down a few miles and turn around to go back to the smoke haven...because this is an occasion to celebrate. After a few days, the amazingness of what had happened wore off and I was a little pissed I had lost my pipe, it was like 100 bucks, and I had gotten it on my birthday, so it had some sentimental value.
All of this happened about two weeks before I graduated high school, and one day I was sitting at home and my mom calls me and says I have a package, and I was wondering who the fuck would send me a package and why...and then my mother informs me that it was probably a graduation present, so I immediately was excited...so I sit on my bed with my mom watching me open it, and I realize there’s no return address, which is odd. I open the box and I look in and there was my pot pouch...I turned and screamed for my Madre to get out of my room and I lock the door. I open the pouch and there was my pipe, sparkling clean, and a pot stem that was probably 4 inches long and defiantly wasn’t from me. So this cop had taken my pipe to get high, and cleaned it and sent it back to me with proof he had been smoking...how fuckin wild is that?...thought it was worth sharing.
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