Good Times
Written by: WTM
So last Friday night started off like every other. We all met at the house at around 7 and started slamming beers until 10. The three cubes that we had bought were nearly dusted and we pocketed the remaining beers to pound in the car on the way to the bar. We rolled up 10 deep to the hard rock caf and immediately started double fisting beers. Shots of tequila and jager were also flowing and Mr. Waytoomany himself was even taking shots of gin because he said he would take whatever anyone bought him. Our friend Gaylord (name changed cause hes a pussy), was drinking double grey gooses and we knew shit was gonna get crazy cause whenever he drinks hard liquor he loses it. We continued to get rambunctious and proceeded to go through 150 waytoomany.com stickers, mostly slapping them on girls asses. The bar closed at 1:45 and we obviously wanted to keep drinking because going home that early on a Friday night is unacceptable.
We proceeded to a bar in Waikiki called Da Dawg House, one of our favorite latenight drinking spots because they serve alcohol till 4am. We began pounding mooseheads and also noticed that Gaylord was absolutely shitfaced and was close to passing out. Mr. Show was our driver but because his eyes were barely open and couldnt even walk without falling over, this chick offered to drive his car. Gaylord, who at this point was so hammered he didnt know what planet he was on, climbed into shotgun of Mr. Shows car. Anyone who knows the rules of shotgun knows that if its your car, you get shotgun no matter what. Gaylord then proceeded to somehow break Mr. Shows window so that it no longer rolled up. Mr. Show pulled Gaylord out of the car and told him to get in the fuckin back and stop being and idiot. Gaylord then pushed Mr. Show and called him a bitch. This sent Mr. Show into a frenzy and he proceeded to pin Gaylords neck against the wall and started choking him. Gaylord started swinging wildly at Mr. Show, landing a few shots, but was pulled off of him by our friend Mantis. Mr. Show was so pissed off that he jumped back in his car and told the chick to drive away and leave Gaylord which she did. This may seem like a dick move, but trust me when I say that Gaylords actions more than warranted him being left. We all went back to the house, found some more beer and continued drinking. Mr. Show then left to go home and eat because he is hefty and loves food.
About 30 min later (around 4:30 am) Gaylord comes jogging up to the house, having ran all the way from Waikiki (about 5 fuckin miles). He started getting all crazy and asking where Mr. Show was because he wanted to fight him. We told him he was gone, at which point Gaylord called us fuckers and proceeded to hit a beer out of the hand of our friend The Man. Gaylord then got in his face and started talking all kinds of shit. Now being called a fucker by a drunken friend is something anyone can shrug off, but wasting a good beer and then proceeding to call someone out for no reason just cant be tolerated; especially after consuming enough alcohol to kill a horse. The Man took him to the ground and pinned him down, not wanting to throw blows at a friend, just wanting to subdue him. However, after taking a good 5 shots to face from Gaylord and having his eye split open (that would later require stitches) he got up and told Gaylord if you really want to fuckin get nuts, lets get nuts. The Man dropped Gaylord to the fuckin ground with some clean shots to the head and then gave him a bitch slap that was so hard it would make Ike Turner proud. We all went inside and passed out while Gaylord slept on the sidewalk. Good times.
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