Easy Baked Oven
Written by: Daniel
Well this Christmas 2005, I did something I haven’t done in a long time, smoke some good fucking weed. I haven’t smoked weed for 6 months after smoking everyday religiously, So I figured what the hell its Christmas and it was about 10 o’clock and me and my buddy (nick) were heading over to another friends house (Spencer), to smoke up and have a few brews. After we smoked a blunt and a lot of bowls out of his new bong, and had about 6 beers each and I was starting to feel it, not having smoked for so long. The only problem was I didn't eat much all day and I had the munchies like you would not believe, so I asked Spencer if he had anything thing to eat and his reply was to go look and you can have whatever you want man, so I went looking for something to eat in the kitchen and there was nothing, so as I was going back to play x-box with my buddies, I saw something that made my eyes light up: his sisters easy bake oven she got for Christmas. I knew that it was easy to make treats with the easy bake oven, so I decided that I had to take her new Christmas present for a little test spin if you know what I mean. So I opened the box and made the batter for chocolate cake (mean while Spencer’s dog, who is a fucking idiot, was biting the shit out of me because he wanted to play). After 5 minutes of making the cake mix and thinking how good this would taste, it was ready to go in the oven. So I plugged it in and put the cake in and set the timer, but I noticed it wasn’t going on, so for five minutes I was trying to turn it on till I got the idea to read the instructions. The instructions said I need a light bulb a 100 watt or less light bulb, so I searched the whole house for the light bulb while having 2 more beers.
When I found a light bulb in the living room under some big ass lamp I was ready to go, but when I got back I had to figure out a way to unscrew the screws with out a screwdriver, so I tried a stake knife, being drunk and high it took me a while but then I finally unscrewed all four screws, so I put the light bulb in and then I screwed the screws back in and tried to see if it would turn on. The oven didn’t go on so by that time I said fuck it, and I did the stupidest thing of all got the idea to put the little easy bake oven pan with the cake mix on top of the oven, on the stove. So I turned it and I ignited it. Then I put the little pan on and it was starting to bubble the cake mix, it was cooking really fast but not cooking right and there was smoke coming from it and it was getting pretty bad, so I had to take it off because I was worried about the fire alarm. I ended up eating the damn cake mix half cooked. During this whole 40 minute procedure not one of my friends came to look for me or asked where I went when I came back, I ended up crashing there because I kept on drinking all night. The next morning I was woken up by an 8 year old girl screaming. She had opened the easy bake oven and saw that someone had used it and didn’t clean up. I didn’t even get blamed for it because my buddies were so fucked up that they didn’t remember me going downstairs so everyone has no clue what happened to the oven except me. So I helped the little girl put the oven away to seem like a nice guy, and I found out that the light bulb has a crack in it, that’s why it didn’t work. When I think about that night I still can’t believe the mission I pulled to eat half cooked easy bake oven cake mix. Weed and beer are the best.
|
