Barf Ride
Written by: Derek
Last year me and 2 of my buddies were walking around my town, I brought my newly purchased acrylic bong that was in a book bag along with a bottle of wild turkey. We ripped a few bongs in the woods, then I whipped out the bottle and me and my friends started drinking. I took down about 1/4-1/2 the bottle, and they finished the rest. We busted the bottle in the street and stumbled into the local pharmacy/general store so I could grab a bottle of water for my bong, after stumbling around sipping on the bottle of water (fucking cotton mouth), we end up sitting down at the lil kiddie park. We sat down, ripped a few more bongs, and had a cig. A few minutes after I finished my cig, I started to feel my gut getting kind of pissed off at me, saying I drank to much hard liquor and should have swapped to beer. So I go lie down on the jungle gym thing, face down because I know I’m about to puke. Two seconds later I puke my brains out right as I laid down, I was puking for a good 5 minutes. Right when I got done puking, I passed out right were I was…just fell asleep…out like a light... My friend got off the phone with some chick, saw I passed out and climbed to the top of the damn jungle gym. Then he jumped off the top and his foot landed within 6 inches from my head, I woke up, and puked my guts out again. Anyway, about an hour and a half later, I’m still plastered of course, and my dad calls, says he is in the neighborhood and on the way to pick me up... so I’m running around trying to sober up a bit before he gets there. My dad finally shows up, about 1/2 the way home, he smells the booze on my breath, and asks me if I was drinking, I said no because I was plastered... but within 2 minutes of him asking that, I started burping a lot, and this means I’m going to puke. He looks over, asks if I’m gonna puke, right when I say “ya,” I puke ALL OVER THE DASH!!!!!! I know im in deep shit now, and plus this is in his brand new truck.
He smelled the booze in my puke so I was busted, I had puke all over my clothes, all over the car, everywhere! When we finally got home, I puke some more, go in the garage, take off my pants and any puke covered clothes... I go and take a shower, when I get out, my dad is sitting in his office, he asks me again "were you drinking?" and I’m still plastered, so again I deny it as I’m stumbling into his office, then he said "this is your last chance, were u drinking!?" and I deny it again, then he reaches into a cabinet and pulls out a breathalyzer. Then I admit to it. He still has me blow, I blew a .10... then he asked me if I did or had anything else that night, I denied it again, he pulls out the eighth I had in my pants pocket, he just told me we’d talk about it in the morning.. So as I stumbled into my bedroom and fall on my futon, he walks in and says "you’re not going to bed yet, first, you have to clean out my truck, then you get to clean the house, do the dishes, and then you can go sleep.” I was up till about 5:30 trying to clean the house and his truck.... so moral of the story, be honest with your parents if u smell like booze and they ask you, because you never know if you parents will torture u like mine did...
Plus side, I slept for about 14 hours, but woke up with the worst migraine I’ve ever had, the kind were u gotta puke to get rid of and aspirin doesn’t work... so, there is a time to lie, then there is a time to tell the truth... be smarter then I was. But my dad would probably have made me clean everything up anyway…
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