bamBOOZEled
Submitted by: Mr Show
This one happened a long time ago, 7 years ago when I was a junior in high school, yet it still brought up now and then.Anyway, the night started off at a friend's birthday party. I just love those parents that will supply underage kids with as much alcohol as they want, and this was definitely the case. Beers, hards, you name it, they had it! So after a few preliminary beers, my friend Rich challenges me to a shot pounding contest, with the bottle of vodka provided to us. Now all that know Mr Show will know I can get a tad competitive and I have a belief that I can out drink all my friends. So of course, I step up! Shot for shot, I'm hanging in there. And after about the third or fourth one, my throat has gone numb anyway and I'm not even feeling the burn anymore, all though I am feeling the other effects. While I am clearly getting smashed off this, Rich seems to be fine. And we're not taking our sweet time with these shots; they're being put down,fil led up, and put down again quickly. So, as we're reaching number seven, I'm starting to hope that Rich will either puke or pussy out soon, as I don't' know how much longer I can go on. Much to my dismay, Rich seems to have caught a second wind. Fortunately this seems to push my competitive drive even further, and I power on through the shots. We finally reach number ten and Rich decides he wants to call it a draw. I agree to this, respecting his decision, and knowing that at least I wasn't the one who wanted to stop. So after a few minutes of trying to get my head together, I notice that Rich and the guys sitting across the table with him are chuckling about something. I'm curious as to what's so funny, Rich proceeds to tell me who he was never drinking vodka, the whole time he had been playing slight of hand and switching his shot of vodka with shots of water. I'm furious, I'm fuming, and I'm chasing Rich all around the yard, granted not too effectively as I'm wasted off ten shots while he's been nursing water. I can barely see straight, much less give chase, so I decide fuck it, I'm over it. Everyone is laughing, how Rich fooled me into downing so many shots, but to be honest, who really comes out looking stupid, the guy who drank so much he can't even sit in a chair properly, or the guy who was such a pussy, he had to drink water to make it look like he was keeping up with a shot contest he challenged me to. Yeah, that's what I thought! And this isn't the end of the story, as my friends have now decided to capitalize on my drunken state.
So after a short rest and trying to get my shit together, I'm actually fine to grab something to drink. My friend's mom brings out a tray of margaritas, and everyone grabs one, including me. Granted I'm nursing mine, going a lot slower than the rest of the boys. I decide that a slice of pizza from inside will go nicely with the drink. So I stumble inside, make myself a plate of two pieces of pizza, some red vines (don't know where I found those), and somehow grab a nice cold beer as well. Heading back outside, I'm actually feeling rather good, but that would all change shortly. I finish eating my food, then climb into the jacuzzi for a nice soak with a fat cigar. Let me tell you, already drunk and now drinking another beer, smoking a cigar, sitting in a 'cuzz, you're head is going to start spinning real fast. So I get out and head over to the pool, where everyone else seems to be. My friend Brennan, who has been jumping off the roof into the pool, sees me as I'm approaching, makes a flying tackle, and knocks me straight into the deep end of the pool. I swear to god, for a second there, I thought I was going to drown. My body had forgotten how to swim. I finally make it to the side of the pool, totally out of breath, and somewhat scared shitless as it was a blindside tackle, and get out, looking for the asshole who did it. I can hear Brennan laughing his ass off, grab the closest thing to me, a basketball, and launch it in his direction. It doesn't even come close. Sails way over his head and into the neighbor's yard, hitting that house with a huge thud, and Jason then gets super pissed at me for making such a racket and pushes me back into the pool. Fuck, that's two times!
I decide to head back to my food, and everyone follows. We're sititng around eating, and decide we all want to go out now. People start finishing up their drinks, and everyone is starting to get impatient with me as I'm nursing that margarita I left. Matt tells me that I have to chug it and they're pretty weak anyway, so I put it up and just start gulping it down. I don't stop till it's done, but once I do, I realize I've made a terrible mistake. The burn in my throat is unmistakable. That thing was pretty much pure tequila. Matt's rolling on the ground laughing, saying how he can't believe I fell for that, and they set me up for the whole thing. They poured out most of the Margarita while I was in the pool, and filled it up with straight tequila. At this point, I'm fucked! I'm not even looking for revenge or retribution, I'm looking for the toilet. I haul ass to the bathroom to spew, and everyone is following. It was not a pretty sight, and the puke was a dark red. I thought I was throwing up blood, but I was reminded mid puke by Matt that I had been chomping away at those red vines all night. It felt as if I was throwing up for hours, by the end my stomach hurt so much from the heaving that I couldn't get off the ground for a good ten minutes. I was just frozen there, hunched over the toilet bowl, praying to the porcelain gods. The rest of the night consisted of me taking a 30 minute shower which I was yelled at by my friend's mother about that being a huge waste of water, and then me passing out in my wet board-shorts in an air conditioned room. Yeah, that wasn't fun. Woke up at like three in the morning with what felt like frostbite and not being able to find my dry clothes for a good 20 minutes as they were outside by the pool.
So you all are probably saying, ha ha Mr Show, they got you good. But when it comes down to it, was I not the drunk one at the party. Was the point not to get completely obliterated for our friend's birthday? Yeah, they pulled a good one on the showman, and I'll give Matt credit for the switcheroo with the margarita cup, but I think you'll all agree, Rich comes off looking like the pussy in this one. But that's not the point of all this, the point is, get drunk! I had a great time during all this, the only thing that sucked was puking, and even that, it just means you got the job done and drank a shitload. So drink up!
Go Back To Stories
Submit Your Stories |
